After tent living and graduation
Well I haven't posted for a while because I am just stuck now, I usually tell people the stories I have already shared but never go on from there in my life history so I am not sure what to tell?
So I will pick up from where I left off and go from there so here it goes......
My mom divorced crazy Dave and at the time of the divorce I didn't want to leave southern Utah, so funny because when we moved to southern utah I wanted to move back home to Orem and be with my friends, you know 11 year old girls depend on there friends. So I complained a lot about tent living, and living with crazy dave and living in southern utah away from my friends. So when my mom finally got the gumption up to divorce Dave we did not know where to go with our lives from there? We didn't have family in southern utah and we really didn't love utah county anymore and so we were lost. I begged my mom to stay in Hurricane so I could stay with my new friends. See since moving every 3 months in the past I never met real true friends and never went to school consistently so now for the past 2 years I have been forced by dave to go to school everyday I started liking school and getting into choir and I was the water girl for the football team, so stupid but then it was so cool to be able to go to all the football games and travel with my friends to the away games. My friends at this time was pretty much most of the football team and 1 other girl Yvonne. So I wanted to stay in Hurricane I was finally making friends and feeling like I was apart of something. So I begged my mom and she didn't know what to do now being a single mom and having no support system in southern utah plus the fact that she would run into dave everyplace we go since its a small town with only one grocery store and one restaurant. So we packed up what little we had living in the tent and started driving to Utah county to be back home, I was really sad and my mom probably felt really guilty and she definetly was lost not knowing what to do with her life. So we made it all the way to scipio which is half way to Orem and my mom pulled over and said ok we are going to pray where we should go. I said what? I dont know how to pray? So we pulled over and she said I want you to pray right now Becky and ask God where we should go and live? I was totally confused? How do I pray first of all and how am I suppose to get a answer from God on the spur of the moment? So I followed my mom in prayer and afterwords I am not sure if I felt anything to be honest, but I knew what I wanted to do and that was not to move to Orem and too move back to Hurricane and be with my friends. I felt really stupid that we have been living our life without God and then all of a sudden I am suppose to drop everything and ask God for a favor? I thought my mom was crazy, well i knew she was crazy but this was really crazy idea, but I prayed anyway because she made me. So I told my mom I didn't get a answer but I want to go back to Hurricane so we turned the car around and drove back to southern Utah and stayed in a hotel and my mom looked for a apartment and a job, so we moved to a low income apartment in st george and my move drove me to Hurricane middle school (8th grade at this time). The apartment we lived in was very run down and pretty scary I always heard yelling and loud music at night and people fighting and partying outside in the court of the apartments, it wasn't a new thing to me to see this so it didnt faze me a bit, but it was pretty run down with prostitution and cocaine. When you drove into the apartment complex there was a sign out in front of the apartment that read "Rock for sale" I didnt notice this was weird but come to find out as I got older and told someone I lived in the apartments (after we moved) they told me thats where you go to buy crack, well that explained a lot. So we lived in st george for a month until my mom convinced my grandparents her parents to co-sign on a trailer in a trailer park so we could have a place to live. After lots of fighting and such they did sign and we moved into Brentwood trailer park in Hurricane Utah. My mom got a job and I was happy to be with my friends and started sluffing school again because dave was not around to make me go. So I got my friends to sluff with me and to this day I feel so guilty for that, they were good kids from good families and I was the evil tempting friend who talked them out of going to school and coming to my house. So they did and I am not sure if one of them even graduated. So we lived in this trailer up until I was a sophomore in high school and then we got evicted, the bank kicked us out since my mom didn't pay the bills and this caused a big problem between my mom and grandparents. So now we are homeless again and have no place to live. My mom is looking for us a new place and she finds another trailer park in Hurricane that was for 55 and older people and she talked my dad into co-signing the trailer and got a new loan with his name on it (at this time my dad was still living with charlotte his girlfriend in Orem Ut) so we moved to our new trailer and my mom recruited my friends into moving us. So now we moved into a older community and the old folks were not happy at all so my mom had to lie about her age and say she was 55 years old and told them that I was just living with her for the next month so they let her in and I had to keep secret about living there. They tried to kick us out multiple times for her age but as soon as they got to know my mom they started to lay off a bit about me living there, plus she told them a lie that I was her helper that she was disabled and sick (which she was) and that I was there to help her live, which is true to a point.
Now going back a little in time before Dave entered the picture and after James and her divorced we were living in Orem like I said earlier and my mom got really sick as soon as we got back from Georgia. My mom had a gastric bypass done years ago in the 1980s and she had been sick ever since especially since she didn't take care of herself, she had dumping down syndrome and started to lose way to much weight at this time and was deathly sick she got down to 100 lbs and could not keep food in her to save her life, literally so I stayed home from school to take care of her. I was 10 years old at the time and I would have to help put the feeding tube down her nose into her tummy and she would gag and cry and I would freak out! Well once we got the tube in I would have to feed her the ensure drinks through the pump and I would take care of everything in the house. I was her nurse is what she called me. I learned to drive a car at 10 years old, yes I was driving full time around Orem utah and driving my mom to her appointments to the store to the pharmacy and where ever we needed to go. So my mom was really sick and almost died and I was her helper who loved driving all over town. One day while I was at school one of the girls in my class said out loud "Becky I saw you drive past my house yesterday and you were driving the car!" everyone stopped and looked at me and my teacher said to me is this true and so I had to tell her my mom was sick and I was always taking care of her so my teacher called my mom and went to visit my mom and that was that, she never said anything to me again. My grammar and English was even worst then it is now and this teacher liked to laugh at my words and she made a book using the words I would say and give them a definition and then she wrote what the word was really suppose to mean. For example I would say supposta and I guess it is correct way to say supposed too. Whatever, English is over rated. just kidding. I cant remember all the other words but I struggled alot with correct english and grammar, obviously you know this if you read my blog and talk to me in person, but it is who I am so you just gotta love it!
So back to the days when my moms was really sick, I was freaked out I spent a lot of nights sleeping on the emergency room floor and then alot of nights at the hospital. I was always scared my mom was going to die and I would be all alone. I always felt alone. My dad never was around and didnt make contact with me and never visited or called, when it was my birthday my mom would have to call my dad and tell him to call me, so he would and well that was probably the only time I talked to him at this time of my life. Charlotte was not a fan of me in there life and my dad was not a family man. So I was always scared of my mom dyeing and I would be all alone. My dad didst want me and my grandparents didn't like me, and my dads mom really didn't like me and wouldn't allow me into her house because she didn't believe i was really his daughter and she hated my mom for having an affair with my dad and all sorts of white trash drama! So I was always crying when my mom got really sick and I thought she was going to die, I didn't want to be left alone. My mom started telling me that my dad has lung cancer because he smokes and well this was a lie, she just told me lies my entire life but at 10 years old I was freaked out that both my parents are going to die. I would try to imagine life when my parents die and I would become a orphan. My moms family didnt like me much they would never talk to me when we would get together at holiday partys at my grandmas house. I was diannes kid and well that means I am the black sheep of the family and stay far away from diannes mistake. Thanks family, you mean a whole lot to me! Doesn't it make sense to help diannes kid and give them hope for a future that you gave up on and knew I was going to be a mistake in society. The best part of this is that I am the only grand kid out of 10 grand kids that graduated from college and has a degree. So funny to look back and see the disgust and hear the shame they felt for me and know I was going to be the loser in the family when I am the only educated person in the family. Well I try not to shove it in there face, instead I am humble about it and only biff I have is why did they treat me so awful and just give up on me? When you see a kid in need HELP THEM, dont walk away from them especially when they are family! Well there you have my opinon on the matter. Dont get me wrong I still have deep appreciation for these humans and do love them but cant get over the fact that they did nothing but judge and watch my mom fail time and time again.
So there you have it in a sum of my experience so far in this post is that I had a sick single mother most the time and we were poor homeless and lost wanderers but all we had was each other and well we gained a best friend relationship because of this. so I am not angry at the bad circumstances we had in life instead I am grateful for having my mom as my best friend, who I could kill one moment and then the next moment love unconditionally. We would fight like cats and dogs and I would boss her around and she would take it and do what I told her to do which was mostly about her getting a job and not being lazy and to stop dating loser men, sometimes the loser men won but eventually I won once she was walked on enough by terrible men. I am really grateful to have had a great and close relationship with my mom its been the greatest blessing from my life up until Jordan and my kids.
My mom was like a teenage girl, we had so many laughs together and she would stay up late playing card games with me and my friends and in fact most my friends would come over to my house every night after work or school and just spend the entire night with us. My mom even fostered some of my friends because they had a bad relationship at home with there abusive parents. My mom was the most caring person I know and I am so glad to see this in my life, at the time I hated it so much she would always be giving my stuff to strangers and when we couldn't pay rent she would save up and pay someone else s rent for them because they were struggling. This involved me stepping in and bossing her around some more that we should not do that. We had good times and bad times and she would just make life fun, and I was the serious one in the relationship. My moms favorite thing to do was to follow the ambulance and see where its going, I was always embarrassed but would ride along with her. My mom had a great laugh and would laugh most things off and people liked to be around her since she was so nice and friendly. I was the complete opposite I hated people coming around and her trying to be everyone's friend.
So I am way off on this post in chronological order and even having any order at all. So I will try to tie up some loose ends if I made some. When we moved into the older community I was starting 11th grade and making lots of mistakes being a teenager with a drivers license and older friends who by the way wanted to marry me and bought me a really nice car when I turned 16 years old. He was 19 years old and had been my friend for years but really just got confused on the friendship thing and wanted more, so he spoiled me a lot since he had a good paying job, well I turned 16 and started working and making new friends and life just started to be one big party. I started hanging out with older friends who have graduated and I started to not hang out with my school friends and not going to school. When I was half way through 11th grade I realized I was turning into my moms old days habits and I didnt want to be my mom, so I started back to school full time and started taking college classes at the same time and packets to make up for lost classes that i had missed. I did graduate from high school which was a lot of work when you have to make up years of school while going to school. So I started working full time at a gas station in zion national park and then going to dental assisting school, and a night CNA class at dixie college and also attended high school. I worked pretty hard and the night of my graduation my principle stood up and was talking about a girl she was so impressed with that she has never met anyone like this before who was a hard worker and turned 24 hour days into squeezing 48 hours into a 24 hour day. She started telling people of this girl who was working full time and school and well i already told you all the things and then she said I would like to present Becky Davis with a scholarship this girl is going places in life and I was so surprised! I started to cry and walked over to her to accept my scholarships. After graduation I moved to Ogden Utah to attend WSU and I was majoring in dental hygiene. I didnt have a clue on college, i thought i was just suppose to take the prerequisites classes then get into the program and then graduate. Well after working at the records office at WSU my fellow co worker asked me when i was going to do my generals and i said what? i dont have to take those classes (this was 1 year into college) and she laughed and said everyone has to take those classes. I fought her on this and well she won she was right and i cried and cried and cried, this set me back another year or so and I was already struggling through school. So I started taking general classes and hated every minute of it, but my purpose of sharing this was to show you i was totally clueless when it came to going to college and i had no mentors to help me. My friends did not go to college after they graduated and my mom didn't go to college none of my family attended college and my dad couldn't even read, so I was really lost and alone on this college thing, but I made it! Thanks to Kathy who informed me of all the hoops and politics of attending a university.
Shoot I did it again I get way ahead and leave out info....so sorry! So when I was in my senior year my dad broke up with charlotte and he started dating my mom. I had no clue that they were talking my dad lived in orem with his mom and we lived in hurricane (southern utah) so my dad started visiting us on weekends and i though he was just coming down to see me until i noticed them sleeping in the same bed after i went to sleep and confronted them about it. My mom told me that they went to mesquite nevada and got married but didnt tell anyone. So a month later I graduated high school and moved to Ogden and my mom moved to Orem to live with my dad. They divorced when I was 6 years old or sometime around that age and then re-married when I turned 18 years old. So when I graduated my mom and I both said good bye to southern utah and I haven't returned since, well except to vacation but I have no ties to southern utah.
So I will pick up from where I left off and go from there so here it goes......
My mom divorced crazy Dave and at the time of the divorce I didn't want to leave southern Utah, so funny because when we moved to southern utah I wanted to move back home to Orem and be with my friends, you know 11 year old girls depend on there friends. So I complained a lot about tent living, and living with crazy dave and living in southern utah away from my friends. So when my mom finally got the gumption up to divorce Dave we did not know where to go with our lives from there? We didn't have family in southern utah and we really didn't love utah county anymore and so we were lost. I begged my mom to stay in Hurricane so I could stay with my new friends. See since moving every 3 months in the past I never met real true friends and never went to school consistently so now for the past 2 years I have been forced by dave to go to school everyday I started liking school and getting into choir and I was the water girl for the football team, so stupid but then it was so cool to be able to go to all the football games and travel with my friends to the away games. My friends at this time was pretty much most of the football team and 1 other girl Yvonne. So I wanted to stay in Hurricane I was finally making friends and feeling like I was apart of something. So I begged my mom and she didn't know what to do now being a single mom and having no support system in southern utah plus the fact that she would run into dave everyplace we go since its a small town with only one grocery store and one restaurant. So we packed up what little we had living in the tent and started driving to Utah county to be back home, I was really sad and my mom probably felt really guilty and she definetly was lost not knowing what to do with her life. So we made it all the way to scipio which is half way to Orem and my mom pulled over and said ok we are going to pray where we should go. I said what? I dont know how to pray? So we pulled over and she said I want you to pray right now Becky and ask God where we should go and live? I was totally confused? How do I pray first of all and how am I suppose to get a answer from God on the spur of the moment? So I followed my mom in prayer and afterwords I am not sure if I felt anything to be honest, but I knew what I wanted to do and that was not to move to Orem and too move back to Hurricane and be with my friends. I felt really stupid that we have been living our life without God and then all of a sudden I am suppose to drop everything and ask God for a favor? I thought my mom was crazy, well i knew she was crazy but this was really crazy idea, but I prayed anyway because she made me. So I told my mom I didn't get a answer but I want to go back to Hurricane so we turned the car around and drove back to southern Utah and stayed in a hotel and my mom looked for a apartment and a job, so we moved to a low income apartment in st george and my move drove me to Hurricane middle school (8th grade at this time). The apartment we lived in was very run down and pretty scary I always heard yelling and loud music at night and people fighting and partying outside in the court of the apartments, it wasn't a new thing to me to see this so it didnt faze me a bit, but it was pretty run down with prostitution and cocaine. When you drove into the apartment complex there was a sign out in front of the apartment that read "Rock for sale" I didnt notice this was weird but come to find out as I got older and told someone I lived in the apartments (after we moved) they told me thats where you go to buy crack, well that explained a lot. So we lived in st george for a month until my mom convinced my grandparents her parents to co-sign on a trailer in a trailer park so we could have a place to live. After lots of fighting and such they did sign and we moved into Brentwood trailer park in Hurricane Utah. My mom got a job and I was happy to be with my friends and started sluffing school again because dave was not around to make me go. So I got my friends to sluff with me and to this day I feel so guilty for that, they were good kids from good families and I was the evil tempting friend who talked them out of going to school and coming to my house. So they did and I am not sure if one of them even graduated. So we lived in this trailer up until I was a sophomore in high school and then we got evicted, the bank kicked us out since my mom didn't pay the bills and this caused a big problem between my mom and grandparents. So now we are homeless again and have no place to live. My mom is looking for us a new place and she finds another trailer park in Hurricane that was for 55 and older people and she talked my dad into co-signing the trailer and got a new loan with his name on it (at this time my dad was still living with charlotte his girlfriend in Orem Ut) so we moved to our new trailer and my mom recruited my friends into moving us. So now we moved into a older community and the old folks were not happy at all so my mom had to lie about her age and say she was 55 years old and told them that I was just living with her for the next month so they let her in and I had to keep secret about living there. They tried to kick us out multiple times for her age but as soon as they got to know my mom they started to lay off a bit about me living there, plus she told them a lie that I was her helper that she was disabled and sick (which she was) and that I was there to help her live, which is true to a point.
Now going back a little in time before Dave entered the picture and after James and her divorced we were living in Orem like I said earlier and my mom got really sick as soon as we got back from Georgia. My mom had a gastric bypass done years ago in the 1980s and she had been sick ever since especially since she didn't take care of herself, she had dumping down syndrome and started to lose way to much weight at this time and was deathly sick she got down to 100 lbs and could not keep food in her to save her life, literally so I stayed home from school to take care of her. I was 10 years old at the time and I would have to help put the feeding tube down her nose into her tummy and she would gag and cry and I would freak out! Well once we got the tube in I would have to feed her the ensure drinks through the pump and I would take care of everything in the house. I was her nurse is what she called me. I learned to drive a car at 10 years old, yes I was driving full time around Orem utah and driving my mom to her appointments to the store to the pharmacy and where ever we needed to go. So my mom was really sick and almost died and I was her helper who loved driving all over town. One day while I was at school one of the girls in my class said out loud "Becky I saw you drive past my house yesterday and you were driving the car!" everyone stopped and looked at me and my teacher said to me is this true and so I had to tell her my mom was sick and I was always taking care of her so my teacher called my mom and went to visit my mom and that was that, she never said anything to me again. My grammar and English was even worst then it is now and this teacher liked to laugh at my words and she made a book using the words I would say and give them a definition and then she wrote what the word was really suppose to mean. For example I would say supposta and I guess it is correct way to say supposed too. Whatever, English is over rated. just kidding. I cant remember all the other words but I struggled alot with correct english and grammar, obviously you know this if you read my blog and talk to me in person, but it is who I am so you just gotta love it!
So back to the days when my moms was really sick, I was freaked out I spent a lot of nights sleeping on the emergency room floor and then alot of nights at the hospital. I was always scared my mom was going to die and I would be all alone. I always felt alone. My dad never was around and didnt make contact with me and never visited or called, when it was my birthday my mom would have to call my dad and tell him to call me, so he would and well that was probably the only time I talked to him at this time of my life. Charlotte was not a fan of me in there life and my dad was not a family man. So I was always scared of my mom dyeing and I would be all alone. My dad didst want me and my grandparents didn't like me, and my dads mom really didn't like me and wouldn't allow me into her house because she didn't believe i was really his daughter and she hated my mom for having an affair with my dad and all sorts of white trash drama! So I was always crying when my mom got really sick and I thought she was going to die, I didn't want to be left alone. My mom started telling me that my dad has lung cancer because he smokes and well this was a lie, she just told me lies my entire life but at 10 years old I was freaked out that both my parents are going to die. I would try to imagine life when my parents die and I would become a orphan. My moms family didnt like me much they would never talk to me when we would get together at holiday partys at my grandmas house. I was diannes kid and well that means I am the black sheep of the family and stay far away from diannes mistake. Thanks family, you mean a whole lot to me! Doesn't it make sense to help diannes kid and give them hope for a future that you gave up on and knew I was going to be a mistake in society. The best part of this is that I am the only grand kid out of 10 grand kids that graduated from college and has a degree. So funny to look back and see the disgust and hear the shame they felt for me and know I was going to be the loser in the family when I am the only educated person in the family. Well I try not to shove it in there face, instead I am humble about it and only biff I have is why did they treat me so awful and just give up on me? When you see a kid in need HELP THEM, dont walk away from them especially when they are family! Well there you have my opinon on the matter. Dont get me wrong I still have deep appreciation for these humans and do love them but cant get over the fact that they did nothing but judge and watch my mom fail time and time again.
So there you have it in a sum of my experience so far in this post is that I had a sick single mother most the time and we were poor homeless and lost wanderers but all we had was each other and well we gained a best friend relationship because of this. so I am not angry at the bad circumstances we had in life instead I am grateful for having my mom as my best friend, who I could kill one moment and then the next moment love unconditionally. We would fight like cats and dogs and I would boss her around and she would take it and do what I told her to do which was mostly about her getting a job and not being lazy and to stop dating loser men, sometimes the loser men won but eventually I won once she was walked on enough by terrible men. I am really grateful to have had a great and close relationship with my mom its been the greatest blessing from my life up until Jordan and my kids.
My mom was like a teenage girl, we had so many laughs together and she would stay up late playing card games with me and my friends and in fact most my friends would come over to my house every night after work or school and just spend the entire night with us. My mom even fostered some of my friends because they had a bad relationship at home with there abusive parents. My mom was the most caring person I know and I am so glad to see this in my life, at the time I hated it so much she would always be giving my stuff to strangers and when we couldn't pay rent she would save up and pay someone else s rent for them because they were struggling. This involved me stepping in and bossing her around some more that we should not do that. We had good times and bad times and she would just make life fun, and I was the serious one in the relationship. My moms favorite thing to do was to follow the ambulance and see where its going, I was always embarrassed but would ride along with her. My mom had a great laugh and would laugh most things off and people liked to be around her since she was so nice and friendly. I was the complete opposite I hated people coming around and her trying to be everyone's friend.
So I am way off on this post in chronological order and even having any order at all. So I will try to tie up some loose ends if I made some. When we moved into the older community I was starting 11th grade and making lots of mistakes being a teenager with a drivers license and older friends who by the way wanted to marry me and bought me a really nice car when I turned 16 years old. He was 19 years old and had been my friend for years but really just got confused on the friendship thing and wanted more, so he spoiled me a lot since he had a good paying job, well I turned 16 and started working and making new friends and life just started to be one big party. I started hanging out with older friends who have graduated and I started to not hang out with my school friends and not going to school. When I was half way through 11th grade I realized I was turning into my moms old days habits and I didnt want to be my mom, so I started back to school full time and started taking college classes at the same time and packets to make up for lost classes that i had missed. I did graduate from high school which was a lot of work when you have to make up years of school while going to school. So I started working full time at a gas station in zion national park and then going to dental assisting school, and a night CNA class at dixie college and also attended high school. I worked pretty hard and the night of my graduation my principle stood up and was talking about a girl she was so impressed with that she has never met anyone like this before who was a hard worker and turned 24 hour days into squeezing 48 hours into a 24 hour day. She started telling people of this girl who was working full time and school and well i already told you all the things and then she said I would like to present Becky Davis with a scholarship this girl is going places in life and I was so surprised! I started to cry and walked over to her to accept my scholarships. After graduation I moved to Ogden Utah to attend WSU and I was majoring in dental hygiene. I didnt have a clue on college, i thought i was just suppose to take the prerequisites classes then get into the program and then graduate. Well after working at the records office at WSU my fellow co worker asked me when i was going to do my generals and i said what? i dont have to take those classes (this was 1 year into college) and she laughed and said everyone has to take those classes. I fought her on this and well she won she was right and i cried and cried and cried, this set me back another year or so and I was already struggling through school. So I started taking general classes and hated every minute of it, but my purpose of sharing this was to show you i was totally clueless when it came to going to college and i had no mentors to help me. My friends did not go to college after they graduated and my mom didn't go to college none of my family attended college and my dad couldn't even read, so I was really lost and alone on this college thing, but I made it! Thanks to Kathy who informed me of all the hoops and politics of attending a university.
Shoot I did it again I get way ahead and leave out info....so sorry! So when I was in my senior year my dad broke up with charlotte and he started dating my mom. I had no clue that they were talking my dad lived in orem with his mom and we lived in hurricane (southern utah) so my dad started visiting us on weekends and i though he was just coming down to see me until i noticed them sleeping in the same bed after i went to sleep and confronted them about it. My mom told me that they went to mesquite nevada and got married but didnt tell anyone. So a month later I graduated high school and moved to Ogden and my mom moved to Orem to live with my dad. They divorced when I was 6 years old or sometime around that age and then re-married when I turned 18 years old. So when I graduated my mom and I both said good bye to southern utah and I haven't returned since, well except to vacation but I have no ties to southern utah.
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