Coming home to Utah
When the bus pulled into the Salt Lake City bus station my sister picked us up and drove us to my grandmas house. Part of the deal for my grandparents to buy a ticket was that we lived with them until we got a place to live. My mom hated the idea but this was our only option at the time. My mom and I shared a room at my grandparents house and I was enrolled into school. I liked living with my grandparents I had 3 meals a day and they were always delicious, my grandma was a great cook. My favorite times were making banana chocolate chip cookies with my grandma. My least favorite time was hearing my mom complain about how my grandpa and grandma treated her and the things she would say.
My grandma would always talk about my cousins and the sports and activity's they were in and I always felt she loved them most. Some nights my cousins would sleep over which happened a lot they had a good relationship with grandma. My grandma would do facials with them and paint nails one night I was there and I wanted to join in, my grandma must not of been in the mood so she just let us wash our face and put lotion on and my cousins were disappointed that they didn't get the whole treatment, I was happy that I had my first facial even if it wasn't the whole grand facial. My grandma would tell me that I need to brush my hair or I will never find a husband and I need to take care of myself like my cousins do. One night I couldn't sleep and so I went into the tv room to ask if I could stay up and my grandma pulled me by my braided hair and put me in bed and told me how disappointed she was in me.
We moved out in a hurry my mom was trying her best to get us out of there as fast as possible so we found a apartment in the married student apartment area. One day my mom was at work and I was home from school and I heard a knock on the door and when I opened it I was shocked to see James standing there at our doorstep, how did he find us? He asked if my mom was home and he wanted to say sorry and that he hitchhiked all the way from Georgia to Utah to be a family again. I had so much anger and didn't give a rats butt about his poor hitchhiking and I was not going to let my mom fall for this guy again! I got up in his face and yelled GET OUT OF HERE! I HATE YOU AND WE DO NOT WANT YOU IN OUR LIVES, NOW GET OUT AND DONT EVER COME BACK! I shut the door and never saw James again. Boy was I lucky to have not been attacked and that he didn't stick around to wait for my mom. I was scared the whole week and was constantly looking over my shoulder for him to appear back into our lives.
My mom was the only single mom in the neighbor hood it was full of newly married couples and some with baby's. I had made a friend from school her name was Brittany and she had a pretty tough life. Her mom was addicted to cocaine and would have many male visitors over to the house so she could pay for her drug problem, her mom locked herself in her room and made Brittany raise and take care of her 2 year old brother. Some how on some Sundays Brittany could escape and she liked going to church since the people were so nice to her and they would also help her with food for her family. Brittany invited me to go with her and I thought it was weird that she liked going to church it was boring and there were not any other kids our age, it was full of nursery age kids. So I followed Brittany everywhere because she was so cool and popular so off to church we went. I am so glad for this time in my life to have followed her to church. The one Sunday I went with her we had a beautiful blonde hair teacher, she was so kind and spoke so lovingly about her husband and the temple. She taught on eternal families and how to be a eternal family was through marriage in the temple. She loved the temple and shared with us her testimony of how she knows that she will be with her family forever and that she loves her husband so much. She told us that the temple was sacred and special and I wanted to go to the temple so bad. The one thing I wanted most in life was to have a family and not have crazy step dads and divorces. I wanted a mom and a dad and maybe some brothers and sisters to hang out with. I hated seeing my mom cry over loser men and being left alone. So my goal was to not have the same life and to have a eternal family, one that would not divorce or leave me. She had us write down a goal we wanted in life and I wrote down that I wanted to be married in the temple and we stuck the paper in a envelope and sealed it. Some how the letter stayed with me and when I was newly married to Jordan I was going through my moms old boxes and found the envelope and read the letter. I am so happy and thankful for that one Sunday I attended her class. The next week my mom had to go to a craft store to get some yarn and I went down the wood isle and found a sign that said family's are forever and I begged my mom to buy it for me. I painted it as soon as I got home and had the sign in my room for a long time.
Well once you go to church those Mormons don't give up, they tracked me down and invited me to there house for dinner and just to be a friend to me. Well once they fed me I never gave up on them, I would show up at there apartment unannounced and ask to come in and play on there computer, we didn't have a computer and I loved typing on there's. they would always let me in and were always so kind to me. One day I knocked on the door and the wife was on the couch crying and she was completely bald. I guess she was crying because she miscarried her baby. I was curious and I asked why she didn't have any hair? She also has been battling cancer and lost her hair and always wore a wig and I didn't know this. I felt bad for always coming over and I never knew she was so sick. I love this couple and wish I knew how to get a hold of them. How wonderful they were to be friends with me even when they were busy working going to school trying to start there own family and fight cancer, they didn't have time to entertain a 10/11 year old girl. They did they made time and treated me like a friend and family. It was getting close to Christmas and they invited me to a special place it was a surprise but it was in salt lake city so I had to have my moms permission. So they picked me up for a special surprise and took me to her family's chocolate factory. I was in heaven! there were chocolates everyplace and they let me work in there and the best part was they let me create my own chocolate candy, I could dip whatever I want and make it my own kind of chocolate candies. I had so much fun and her family welcomed me like I was there own family member. I remember looking for Cindy and she was so sick and had gone to bed in her parents room. I was so sad for her because she was sick and still crying over the miscarriage. Words cannot say how much I love this couple and hope they have lots and lots of kids and live happily ever after without cancer. When it was time to go home I was so sad because I had such a great time and felt a special feeling when I was with her family. They let me make chocolates and take them home to my mom for a Christmas gift. I loved my mom but I really wanted a stable happy family like this family.
I would be asked to babysit a couple of kids from my neighborhood while the parents went on a date and when they got home they would say to my mom how much they loved me and hope there daughter was just like me when she grows up. I remember being so confused and wishing that the daughter would be better and not like me. I didn't like me, I didn't want to be me, so I definitely didn't want the daughter to be just like me.
Well only good things can last so long before my mom couldn't pay the rent again and we had to get ready for our next move.
My grandma would always talk about my cousins and the sports and activity's they were in and I always felt she loved them most. Some nights my cousins would sleep over which happened a lot they had a good relationship with grandma. My grandma would do facials with them and paint nails one night I was there and I wanted to join in, my grandma must not of been in the mood so she just let us wash our face and put lotion on and my cousins were disappointed that they didn't get the whole treatment, I was happy that I had my first facial even if it wasn't the whole grand facial. My grandma would tell me that I need to brush my hair or I will never find a husband and I need to take care of myself like my cousins do. One night I couldn't sleep and so I went into the tv room to ask if I could stay up and my grandma pulled me by my braided hair and put me in bed and told me how disappointed she was in me.
We moved out in a hurry my mom was trying her best to get us out of there as fast as possible so we found a apartment in the married student apartment area. One day my mom was at work and I was home from school and I heard a knock on the door and when I opened it I was shocked to see James standing there at our doorstep, how did he find us? He asked if my mom was home and he wanted to say sorry and that he hitchhiked all the way from Georgia to Utah to be a family again. I had so much anger and didn't give a rats butt about his poor hitchhiking and I was not going to let my mom fall for this guy again! I got up in his face and yelled GET OUT OF HERE! I HATE YOU AND WE DO NOT WANT YOU IN OUR LIVES, NOW GET OUT AND DONT EVER COME BACK! I shut the door and never saw James again. Boy was I lucky to have not been attacked and that he didn't stick around to wait for my mom. I was scared the whole week and was constantly looking over my shoulder for him to appear back into our lives.
My mom was the only single mom in the neighbor hood it was full of newly married couples and some with baby's. I had made a friend from school her name was Brittany and she had a pretty tough life. Her mom was addicted to cocaine and would have many male visitors over to the house so she could pay for her drug problem, her mom locked herself in her room and made Brittany raise and take care of her 2 year old brother. Some how on some Sundays Brittany could escape and she liked going to church since the people were so nice to her and they would also help her with food for her family. Brittany invited me to go with her and I thought it was weird that she liked going to church it was boring and there were not any other kids our age, it was full of nursery age kids. So I followed Brittany everywhere because she was so cool and popular so off to church we went. I am so glad for this time in my life to have followed her to church. The one Sunday I went with her we had a beautiful blonde hair teacher, she was so kind and spoke so lovingly about her husband and the temple. She taught on eternal families and how to be a eternal family was through marriage in the temple. She loved the temple and shared with us her testimony of how she knows that she will be with her family forever and that she loves her husband so much. She told us that the temple was sacred and special and I wanted to go to the temple so bad. The one thing I wanted most in life was to have a family and not have crazy step dads and divorces. I wanted a mom and a dad and maybe some brothers and sisters to hang out with. I hated seeing my mom cry over loser men and being left alone. So my goal was to not have the same life and to have a eternal family, one that would not divorce or leave me. She had us write down a goal we wanted in life and I wrote down that I wanted to be married in the temple and we stuck the paper in a envelope and sealed it. Some how the letter stayed with me and when I was newly married to Jordan I was going through my moms old boxes and found the envelope and read the letter. I am so happy and thankful for that one Sunday I attended her class. The next week my mom had to go to a craft store to get some yarn and I went down the wood isle and found a sign that said family's are forever and I begged my mom to buy it for me. I painted it as soon as I got home and had the sign in my room for a long time.
Well once you go to church those Mormons don't give up, they tracked me down and invited me to there house for dinner and just to be a friend to me. Well once they fed me I never gave up on them, I would show up at there apartment unannounced and ask to come in and play on there computer, we didn't have a computer and I loved typing on there's. they would always let me in and were always so kind to me. One day I knocked on the door and the wife was on the couch crying and she was completely bald. I guess she was crying because she miscarried her baby. I was curious and I asked why she didn't have any hair? She also has been battling cancer and lost her hair and always wore a wig and I didn't know this. I felt bad for always coming over and I never knew she was so sick. I love this couple and wish I knew how to get a hold of them. How wonderful they were to be friends with me even when they were busy working going to school trying to start there own family and fight cancer, they didn't have time to entertain a 10/11 year old girl. They did they made time and treated me like a friend and family. It was getting close to Christmas and they invited me to a special place it was a surprise but it was in salt lake city so I had to have my moms permission. So they picked me up for a special surprise and took me to her family's chocolate factory. I was in heaven! there were chocolates everyplace and they let me work in there and the best part was they let me create my own chocolate candy, I could dip whatever I want and make it my own kind of chocolate candies. I had so much fun and her family welcomed me like I was there own family member. I remember looking for Cindy and she was so sick and had gone to bed in her parents room. I was so sad for her because she was sick and still crying over the miscarriage. Words cannot say how much I love this couple and hope they have lots and lots of kids and live happily ever after without cancer. When it was time to go home I was so sad because I had such a great time and felt a special feeling when I was with her family. They let me make chocolates and take them home to my mom for a Christmas gift. I loved my mom but I really wanted a stable happy family like this family.
I would be asked to babysit a couple of kids from my neighborhood while the parents went on a date and when they got home they would say to my mom how much they loved me and hope there daughter was just like me when she grows up. I remember being so confused and wishing that the daughter would be better and not like me. I didn't like me, I didn't want to be me, so I definitely didn't want the daughter to be just like me.
Well only good things can last so long before my mom couldn't pay the rent again and we had to get ready for our next move.
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